GENERIC HORROR MOVIE 5: THE RECKONING
where’s my oscar
If u see a guy with long hair he’s either gorgeous or fucking weird and the answer lays in what type of shoe he’s wearing
but why would you even give him the waterbed
he had scissors
I LOVE HOW THIS DOESN’T EVEN MENTION WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS.
who else has fucking scissors for hands
I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.
“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”
Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.
Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.
Plus it’s always fun to see Tom faint.
Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.